Ep. 154: From Fear to Surgery: My Final Update (Part 4)

In this week’s episode, Jazmin shares a final update on her cancer scare and everything that came with it. From fear and uncertainty to trust and acceptance, this episode highlights the challenges of letting go of control and allowing yourself to be cared for during one of life’s most difficult moments.

Tune in now for your weekly Dose!!!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

You're now listening to a potent dose of three with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy, and we're here to bring you your weekly dose. Hey guys, welcome back. This is a continuation of last week's episode.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Glad you asked that because I had never had surgery. Um, and so choosing to have surgery, um, like I didn't even think about it, to be honest. But then when I was going to surgery, um it was scary, not gonna lie. It was scary. I had never had surgery, and so the fact that I was going on under anesthesia was a little scary. Like it wasn't fear that my surgeons were incompetent. I had full faith in them. It was it had nothing to do with them. I was not worried about them. I was more worried about was my body going to be able to handle things, you know, was I gonna wake up, you know, things like that. And so yeah, I was just worried, like I I don't know, you could have a heart attack and die under anesthesia. So that's definitely one of the risks that you take. But I also knew that my that my mental state wouldn't be good if I kept it in here. So I was like, I felt like I would feel better taking it out and actually definitively knowing what it was. So that that was something I felt like I needed to do. Um and that's basically one of the reasons why I chose to do it despite the the risks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Good question. Thanks for sharing. So now I don't want to hear after the surgery.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

No, wait, I wanted to tell you about the surgery real quick.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Oh, yeah. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

I skipped um so yeah, they told me it was gonna be a partial partial assisted laparoscopic nephrectomy. Um, and I was like, okay, but I didn't like know what that consisted of because I I thought I knew, but then me and Jonathan went and we YouTube'd it. Worst idea ever. Give me one second, hold on. Yeah, it was the worst idea ever because I wasn't really worried about my surgery until we saw that video. So in the video, it literally starts with You have just told you have cancer. We're like, me and him looked at each other and we started bawling. Like we're laughing, our we are laughing so hard. We're like, who starts this video like this?

SPEAKER_00 2:51

The same doctor that told you you had cancer, cancer in the emergency department.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

That's who. No, for real. Like me and him, me and Jonathan were laughing so hard because we were like, that like okay, no, like you didn't need to do all that in the video, but they put you in like on a side position, I don't know, lateral or company or whatever they call that. Um, and then they they make like five incisions, they blow you up with CO2 gas so your stomach gets huge, so that they can see better when their the cameras are in there, and then you know, they do the cutting and then they'll take the mass out through one of the incisions. So I have five incisions. Um and that was actually really painful the surgery after because not so much the incisions, um, but when I came home, I could feel the gas, dude. The gas was irritating my nerves, and so it was causing referred pain to my back. Um and I felt like if I tried to move, like I felt I just felt the pain, like I had the worst back pain. And actually that wasn't even the worst of it. It's there was so much gas in me that I felt like um I couldn't breathe because every time I try to breathe, I felt like my nerve was getting irritated. So I literally couldn't breathe at night. Like I remember one night I woke Jonathan up and I was like, I can't breathe. Like, I'm like like literally trying to wake him up because I needed help to sit up because I couldn't breathe. No, not sit up. I needed to get out of bed to stand so I could breathe because I couldn't breathe laying down. Um so I I think the first two days were the worst because there was so much gas in me. I felt like it was just irritating all my nerves and causing me pain, like in my chest and in my back. Like I had never had that chest pain, and I was like, is this a heart attack? And then I was like, no, wait, it only hurts when I move. So not me over here doing like physical exam on myself, but yeah, so that was interesting, but it was it was cool. It was cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Who wiped your butt? You're leaving out all the good stuff. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

Oh, you're right, yeah, you're right. You're right. Oh, I forgot all the good stuff. Yeah, I came home and I had to eat. I thought, you know, I was normal. I put like food in my mouth. Linda, I had I had to spit it out because I couldn't chew it because the anesthesia had messed up, like I couldn't chew. So I I couldn't, I didn't know how to swallow food. I didn't know how to swallow food. Like I I I I don't know how to tell you this. I just I forgot how to swallow, like I couldn't. The anesthesia was messing up my swallowing reflex. Um so I couldn't eat. So I was eating mashed potato, but I they were like baby, you know, like when you feed a toddler. I was like feeding myself like a toddler because I couldn't swallow big deces. And then yes, okay, Linda, geez Louise, you're giving everybody all my goodness. Um, yes. So the doctor had said if I didn't produce a bowel movement or gas, that um to let him know because obviously when you go under anesthesia, well, when you when you have um surgery, um it can cause adhesions in your bowels, and then it can cause obstructions, and then this could be dangerous. So they always ask if you are able to pass gas or produce or have a bowel movement. So that was really something really important. So um I remember I could not go. I could not go. And my mom and Jonathan were doing everything to try to make me go. And um I remember like they bought prune juice, they brought actual prunes. I forgot what other stuff they were trying to make me do. Um to go to the bathroom. Um I never had prune juice in my life, dude. Okay, but I the name just sounds nasty. I'm not gonna lie, the name sounds nasty, so I knew I wasn't gonna like it, right? So my mom pours me some prune juice. And if you know anything about me, I drink really slow. I drink really slow. So she poured me a big old glass. I look over at Jonathan, like, I can't do this. And so Jonathan's like, okay, he's like, I'll just water it down for you and give you less. I'm like, thank you. Like, thank you, somebody who knows me. So he does that. He like waters it down and I'm I'm drinking it, you know. And then um they finally get me to go, and I'm like, I need to go, you know. So I go to the restroom, I finally produce a bowel movement, yay, which is great because I didn't have to call the doctor because he said if I was able to produce it. I mean, we were almost at that point. Like Jonathan's like, you're gonna have to call a doctor. I'm like, no, no, I'm like, no, give me a little bit more time. I'm like, I I'll go, I'll go. Um, and and yeah, so I went, but then the problem was I was like, um, I can't like wipe myself because you you can't bend in certain ways because you have like you know, surgery. And I was like, no, like let me try. So I'm I'm like really trying to do it myself because I'm like, that means either my mother or my fiance have to wipe my ass. Oh dang.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Yeah, I don't know how we feel about that. Yeah, same. I don't know, bro.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

No, I know bro now. I know it's kind of like I know. No, I know. How do you think I felt having to call? So, anyways, I'm I I tried to do it myself. Like, I really tried, and I was like, Oh, okay, you you you can't. I was like, I I I realized I couldn't, and I was like, Okay, um, babe.

SPEAKER_04 9:02

Damn, I thought you would have asked your mom. I'll be like, Well, she wiped my booty when I was young, she could wipe it again, but no, babe.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Well, look, that is not the same booty that the mom was wiping if anything. John a little bit more. I may clip that part out.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

No, no, no, I love it. Actually, I really like that. It's funny. But he he came, he did it. He he was a champ, he was a champ, okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Honestly, that is love right there. That's how I really like Jonathan. Like, he's the homie. Like, I can just see how much he loves and cares for you because he is ready to go to war over you and your family, and then wiping your dookie booty. Like, that is love.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Not gonna lie, it was like, wow, I chose the right one. No, you did. You did. Yeah, so so yeah, he he assisted me with that. Um, and we were laughing at that. I was like, I can't believe you did that. He's like, I mean what? Like, you know, it is what it is, it happened, whatever. Hey, it brought us closer together, okay? Um, so yeah, that happened. And another funny thing, dude. Oh, I forgot to mention it earlier, but so like I told you those first two days, I was in so much pain. Um, and I'm the kind of person where I will not take meds if I don't need to. Like, I will try to tough it out until I really, really feel bad. Like, that's the kind of person I am. People are like, how are you gonna be a doctor? Look, that's just the way I am, okay? I'm gonna take my meds if I really, really feel like I need it. Um those first two days, yeah, I needed it. Like I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't I couldn't sleep comfortably because I could only sleep in one position. Um, and there was just so much gas in my stomach, irritating everything. So I'm I remember I wake up, I waked up and I was like, I need my meds. Like I was like, I need my meds. You know, I decided like, you know what, I'm gonna take these meds.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

And all I hear my mom saying is, don't give her medication, don't give her medication because she shouldn't be taking a lot of medication.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

And I was ready to fight her because like I told you in the beginning, I'm not I don't like to take meds if I don't need to. Jonathan was like, You're gonna take these meds at this time, this time. I was like, No, no, I even told him like I don't need to do all that. And the fact that I was asking for meds is because I needed them. So when my mom was like saying, Don't give her meds, I was like, Do not listen to this lady, you better give me my meds.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Listen, I barely know her, just give me my meds. She was like, She did not want you to become addicted.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah, no, it was funny. No, it was really funny because then Jonathan was like, because he was supposed to leave for work the next day. He looked at me like, Oh, should I go to work?

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Your family is so funny, Jasmine. So funny. I know.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

No, I know. And they they have character, I guess. But yeah, so that's pretty much what I've been dealing with these last few months. Um, I it's been a lot, but I think it's changed me for in in positive ways. Like my mind my mindset has changed a lot. School is so important, but it's not my priority. My priority is always to make sure that I'm filling my own cup as well. Um, going to the gym, um, whether it's doing new like activities for myself. Um, I've started to tap into a more creative side of myself, doing like little mini art projects and and spending more time with family and friends, like inviting classmates over. Like this weekend, I'm gonna host a movie night at my place. Um I just wanna I wanna be human too. I don't just want to be a student. And I think it's woken me up even more, even though I had mentioned in previous episodes that I wanted to start doing that more. I think it opened it up even more because I I think I was doing it, but I think I was still limiting myself in a sense.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

So yeah, I got a uh a few more things to add on. Um, but I'm like, it was a good learning learning experience for you, learning experience for me. Um, let's see. Do I want to start off with a funny story? I start off with a very short funny story. Um, it may come off as dark humor, but we have passed the point we know Jasmine is a-oka. Okay, so one quick, quick story is oh, some may find it funny, some others may not, but you know, dark humor, Jasmine is alive and she will be okay. So I remember it was still in the process of Jasmine not knowing what was going on. Like at this point, they told her that it's benign, but she had to, you know, she chose to do the surgery. So I remember during this time, Jasmine Jasmine was also dealing with her dog, her dog, her poor dog, Gimpy. Um, she jasmine thought it was like the last days on earth for the dog. And I'm not trying to laugh because I know dog people don't come and attack me. So jazz, that was another thing that Jasmine was also very depressed about. And she calling me, like, your niece, your niece. And she knows I get it, she gets on my nerves when she be saying, Tell the dog, let's talk to your auntie. But anyway, so she calls me about her dog Gimpy, saying that she thinks she has to put her down during the next. I was like, you know, again, talking Jasmine through it. I was like, dang, Jasmine, give her some time, blah, blah, blah. She was like, Yeah, I'm gonna give her any treats that she wants to eat because she deserves it. And I was like, Yeah, the same thing that Jonathan was doing to you. She's like, Oh yeah, because Jonathan's giving her double of everything. Two cheesecakes, two hamburgers.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

I was like, Kathy, when I was going through that, I I mean, I thought I was spoiled before, Kathy. This man took it to a whole new level. I said I wanted the cheesecake factory. He said I got you two cheesecakes. I said he said, I got you both. I got you a mousse and I got you a uh a chocolate. I yeah, I was I was spoiled. You're right. And on top of that, Linda, on top of that, you know the whole Gimpy got sick? It was again the night before an exam. Every time it's before an exam, every time it happens, it's always the night before an exam.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, so Jasmine's really going through it because she thought her, she thought poor Gimpy was on her last breath and she was spoiling her. Jonathan was spoiling her. I was like, Yeah, Jonathan treating you the same way you're treating Gimpy, like it's your last day on her. And I was like, yeah, I was like, too soon. I don't know. But I knew Gimpy was gonna pull through. Gimpy's still coughing somewhere over there. I know she is okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

She is, she is, she is. No, you're still going, right? You're still going? Because I want to add to the story too.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah, okay. Add to the story because I was no, add to the story because I was gonna go to another story.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Okay. So, so Kathy. Gimpy gets so sick, like, so she the doctor says she has like a bad trachea, whatever. And um basically like just carry her, don't let her get too excited, blah, blah, blah. Like, don't let her do too much physical activity where she like exacerbates herself. So that like I noticed because when she would like run a lot, that's when it would happen, like her coughing attacks. But it got to the point the night before the exam, like I'm studying in bed, and she's like laying down in bed, and she can't breathe, even laying down. And I was like, I was like, oh no. I was like, she's sedentary and and it's happening like this, like this is not good. Like she's progressed. I was like, this is not good. She kept me up all night. I was at a newborn, it's like I was a newborn mother, like the week of the exam and the the the night before the exam. I was up at like three in the morning, like like trying to calm her down from her like respiratory distress that she was in or whatever. And I had messaged my family, like, hey, you guys need to come see Gimpy, like I'm gonna have to put her down. Like I already found I had already found like someone to to like come do it. And I was gonna book the appointment. The reason why I didn't book the appointment, because I was like, I felt bad that I didn't get to spend the last few days with her. So I was like, let me come home after my final or after the test and spend some time with her before I book this appointment, you know, because I felt like I didn't get to spend time with her because I was studying and I was like, before and then I'm gonna like after my literally after I got out of the test, I went and I went to Wendy's and got a chicken nuggets because she likes chicken nuggets. Gimpy loves chicken nuggets. Okay. Oh getting the last meal. Yeah. So I got her chicken nuggets and I was like, my baby's gonna eat good, you know, her last few days. And I'm like breaking up the nuggets and like I think I had like I think she like jumped up for it or something, and I was like, she's not sick, she's fine. She blamed you. She looked like a whole different dog, Kathy. I was like, uh, is she dying or is she not dying? Like, I'm like, is she just trying to get these nuggets? Like, fine, she was fine. And I felt like a crazy person because I had told like my friends, I'm putting her down. I had told like my the classmates that I was close to that I was putting her down. My neighbor, he when I walked up, he's like, How are you? I'm like, I'm not good. Like I told him, like, yeah, I'm putting her down like tomorrow or the next day. Um, I had clinic, and I told the people at the clinic, hey, I don't know how I'm gonna feel like about coming to clinic because I'm putting my dog down. So I had told like a lot of people I'm putting her down. And she was fine.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Yeah, that's how we had the conversation because Jasmine caught FaceTime me so she can say her last goodbye. And I was so confused, I was like, What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 19:08

But yeah, Jasmine. And then to make it worse, Linda's over here like, she was fine the whole time, and you were trying to put her down. You didn't even give Gimpy a chance.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Yes, out of all people, she calls her non-dog friend. And I'm like, hold up, you trying to put my niece down? I was like, take her back to the doctor, put her on the initial medication that the doctor was gonna suggest it. No, Jasmine forgot all about all of that and went straight to it's time for you to go, Gimpy. I was like, who actually loves the dog, me or her other aunties? Because I was the only one questioning, why won't you take her to the doctor and put her on some medication before you put her down?

SPEAKER_02 19:47

Because she was so bad. I'm telling you, I thought she was gonna die like the night of my midterm.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Yeah. Listener, she has like a bad, bad cough. It sounds like a smoker's cough or somebody with COPD. Like her cough is bad, like, really bad.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

It was so bad. Like, I was waking up every few hours trying to like rub her ears to calm her down so she could breathe. I was like, She's not gonna make it till like after my midterm. Um, so yeah, and then the whole fact that was like, yeah, she's fine, and you were just trying to put her down, like if nothing. I was like, No, Linda, she was not fine. Obviously, she was because she's still sitting there right next to you.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Uh okay, because I know we we I know we're very short on time. Um, another funny story, it'll be quick. So after Jasmine's surgery, um, myself, Vanessa, and Ellie, we went down there to go visit her because we haven't seen her. I think it was maybe three days after the surgery. Also, her grandma was there and her mom. I haven't seen them in forever, and I love the love them so much. When I tell you, we were there to visit Jasmine, but we all got princess treatments. The mom was like, What do you guys need? Let me order this, let me put up your feet, let me massage your feet. I was like, Oh, who's the patient? Me or Jasmine? So we're all laying on the couch, eating chicken nuggets, eating ice cream, eating everything. Jasmine's grandma's bottom rub, Vanessa's speed, giving us massages. I was like, ooh, this is a good life. This is how it feels to have someone. But they're giving us the princess treatment. I was like, okay, this is very relaxing for me as well. But it was, they're so cute. They're going above and beyond. And at one point, and uh and you wonder why I am the way I am. Yeah, a princess.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

No, Jonathan literally was like, it's your fault you gave her to me like this.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Pretty much, pretty much they did. And at one point, um, Jasmine's grandma, it was it's either your grandma or your mom, I think it was your grandma. So she had one of those big um comfy like shirt blankets. I forgot what it's called, like the big old comfy, it's like a blanket, but it's a coat. And then Jasmine's grandma was like, I'm gonna go across the street to go buy you. And I was like, Lady, it is 7 p.m. I do not need one. She was like, No, I'm gonna go. She's all looking to see if the store is open. I was like, No, I really don't need one. You can relax the food, the ice cream, the massages, the the everything is just it's good enough. It's okay, relax them. But her family just loves and cares for her. It was really good seeing them. Um, but yeah, it was really nice.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Uh my grandma and my mom were like, Oh, we're so happy they came. Oh, we had the best time. It was like they literally for two days, they're like, Oh, we're so happy. That was the best time I've had in a really long time. Like they bragged about it for like two days. It was really cute.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

And the whole time they were just serving us, like giving us everything, like spoiling us. It was, I had a great old time as well. Yeah. You know, it's because they're so energetic, they can't just sit down, so they always have to do something. They're busybodies, busybodies. Um, to close up this episode, I do want to give a few tips for listeners. Um, you guys can add on too if you want to, but one big or a few big tips and takeaways that listeners, I want listeners to know is always if you think something is wrong, always push for your providers to run those tests, run those labs at because at the end of the day, they do not have nothing to lose. One thing I love about my preceptor, because again, I'm in the fellowship. One thing that he taught us is like it doesn't like you don't lose anything by ordering that image. Like, order if they get denied, at least you did your part, and then they take it up with their insurance. So always push for what you want. Because at the end of the day, it's your health and it's your life. A second advice that I would like to give is if you are gonna have surgery, be the first surgery of the day. Any health care healthcare provider or doctor that you know, or any healthcare provider would tell you, always be the first surgery of the day because you don't want to be the 10th person of the day because then your surgeon may be tired or something. Try to be the first, try to be at least the top five, the top three, but be the first of the day if you can. So those are those are my two tips.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

I actually want to give some tips because I learned so much in this process. Um, one would be to always advocate for yourself. Um, like Linda said, uh, a lot of times you you will be denied, but um keep advocating. Like if you are experiencing symptoms, if you know something is not right with your body, don't stop advocating. Um, because something wasn't wrong, right? Even though it ended up being uh benign, they found out they did blood tests and they found out, you know, I I may have an autoimmune disorder, and that could be causing some of the symptoms I'm experiencing. So um, if you don't advocate, you won't be able to get to the root of the issue. So just keep advocating and keep trying to figure out what's wrong because you don't want to get to a point where um your symptoms uh develop and then it could be something that could be harder to treat. It could change your prognosis. I would say another thing is um if you are in a situation where you are told you have something um and you're not sure, get get a second opinion and um don't ruminate on on it until I mean it's hard, but try not to like ruminate on it until you've gotten multiple opinions and you know it's a definitive diagnosis. I should have done that, it would have saved me a lot of um tears. And then I would say three is um you know, work hard, but also play hard, meaning enjoy like your family, your friends. Don't forget to feel your cook, don't forget to do things that make you you. Um work is always gonna be there, but you know, um having that quality time with your family and a friend, uh, it's not something that can be replaced. So I think that's what I can think of right now. I'm sure there's so many more that I can think of, but uh we would probably never finish.

SPEAKER_04 25:53

So um yeah, you guys say it all. I was like thinking, I was like, but she didn't avoid never mind, Jasmine mentioned it, but and never mind, she just mentioned it. But yeah, listeners, thank you for listening. Thank you, Jas, for sharing all this, like all these stories and all the details, and for being vulnerable, vulnerable with all of us. I hope the listeners learned something and um keep those tips in mind because we never know when we're gonna get a diagnosis that might change our perspectives. So thank you, listeners, until next time. Bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Thanks for listening to this episode of PD3 with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy. Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe at a potent dose of three so that you never miss an episode and your weekly dose.