Ep. 162: Plans Change, Life Happens (Part 2)

In the second half of the episode, the conversation highlights how easy it is to be hard on yourself after a setback, especially when you’ve worked so hard toward a goal. The hosts discuss giving yourself grace during difficult moments, allowing yourself time to process emotions, and finding healthy ways to bounce back instead of letting one obstacle define your journey.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

You're now listening to a Putin Dose of Three with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy, and we're here to bring you your weekly dose.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Welcome back. This is a continuation of last week's episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

In reality, Jasmine, you didn't even have time for yourself to actually relax to recharge for the new upcoming rotation, like the say semester. Um, so when Jasmine finally like, oh, maybe I should defer and um so I can have a break, like take the test, still defer and then then go back to school once I'm recharged. So I, when I when you you called me and said that you didn't couldn't defer, I was like, dang, that sucks. That really sucks.

SPEAKER_04 1:02

No, you you made a good point because I really did not want to defer. I just wanted to take my test, start my rotation, so let's go. Like I was like, let's just go at this point. But yeah, it's gonna happen that way. And yeah, so they told me I couldn't defer. Um, my classmates were really supportive. And um they told me I could petition. Oh, yeah, they told me I could petition. So I petitioned. Um, and then in the meantime, I remember I'm like, I'm just gonna have a positive attitude. I'm like, I'm just gonna have a positive attitude every day. I woke up and I did. I'd wake up and I'm like, I was trying to have a positive attitude. I was like, I'm gonna go work out. And then I was like, I'm gonna go get groceries. Um, I normally don't go in, I just do pickup because like I don't have time. I was like, you know what? No, my body deserves to walk. My body deserves like I deserve a little bit of like, you know, I don't know, feeling like I bel I'm in the world, I guess. Um, and so I go to Target, get, I was only gonna get two things, but I was like, you know what, I'm already here. I'm just gonna get a bunch of stuff, you know, might as well, I'm already here. So I'm getting my stuff and I was like, I'm also just gonna get Starbucks so I can um, you know, just start studying and I don't have to go back into like I don't have to cook. Why am I studying? Because they recommended I still study. And so I had hopes, you guys. I had hopes. Um and I got my Starbucks, I had money left on my like um gift card. This is how good of a mood I was in. I was like, just use it on the next person. I was like, just use it on the next person. And the guy was like, Oh wow, thank you. And I was like, Yeah, no worries. You know, I'm in a great mood. I have no idea why, to be honest. I I don't know. I just want to like I try to be in a good mood if I can. And I'm walking in my car, bottle load the groceries, put the key in the car, but the car doesn't open because the key doesn't work for the car anymore. Why, how, I don't know. It just doesn't work. So at this point, I'm locked out of the car. Granted, remember, we had we just had a battery issue. Oh, I forgot to mention the week before I had flat tires too. Anyways, so now I can't get in my car, and I'm like, what do I do? Like, what like what I'm like, no, it's okay, it'll open, it'll open, just be patient. So I'm like trying, it won't turn. This guy is literally sitting in his truck right in front of me, just watching me. He's literally just sitting there watching me, like struggle. He's watching me struggle. I can't get in my car. Then you hear the um, you hear the you know how they have in the parking lot, like the the speakers is like this parking lot is being secured by so then as I'm trying to get in the car, I just hear that. I'm like, they think I'm trying to break into my car. I'm like, oh my gosh. And so then everyone's literally just honestly watching me. Like, I know you're probably like, oh, she's being paranoid, but I'm like, no, like I literally saw people like sitting in their cars just watching me. I have uh my groceries there. And granted, like it's starting to get cloudy, like you can see the clouds coming in, like it's about to rain. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe this. Like I got hit with I might not be able to defer and I have to go straight into my rotation and uh all the time that I spent studying, I may forget a bunch of this like knowledge that I've built. Like there's a you know, there's gonna be a learning curve here, and so I lose I I I'm trying not to lose it. Then I call my fiance to you know, I'm like, I'm gonna let him know what's going on. And someone answers and they realize it's me because I used to work at that job. I haven't lost it yet, Kathy. I have not lost it, okay? I'm like, I'm still holding it in. Then he goes, when he realizes me, like the my old co-worker, he goes, I just want to let you know God is thinking about you, he's praying for you, and he's watching over you.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

And as he's saying this, that's when I that's when I lost it. I was like, oh my god, you don't know what I'm going through right now. That's actually when I lost it.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

In the meantime, though, my my friends, I like was messaging them, my my my med school friends, I was messaging them and telling them what was going on. They're making fun of me. They're like, uh, who put a curse on you? Blah, blah, blah. But also, as they're making fun of me, I guess they were like behind the scenes working out. Um, they contacted uh one of my neighbors who lives here, who's also a classmate, and he went to pick me up um at at the at Target. And so when he went to go pick me up, um, as he walked up, I had just finished that phone call, so that's when I started crying. And he was like, You look like you're going through it. And I was like, I am going through it. And he shut up at a really good time because um that's when I started crying. And so he started loading um his groceries, uh, my groceries into his car, and uh he took me home. And yeah, I just needed to get out of that situation.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Shout out to your classmates. You have um a good group of classmates because this is not the first time I've heard them go out of their way to help help you. Um so you have a good group. You you are blessed when you're with a group of colleagues that are very supportive because it makes the journey of uh school a little bit more easier when you have that support because again, they know what you're going through because they're in it too. Uh so I'm I'm happy that you have like a good supported supporting group.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

Honestly, yes, like yes. I I honestly was just calling to vet to them, but I was not expecting them to just be like, here's a solution. Like I was not expecting any of that from them, you know? And I needed that in that moment, and I'm so grateful they've been there for me for so many things, and I'm so appreciative of them. Um I open up to I'm I'm very open person, so I open up to a lot of people, but there's something about these people, like they're they're really, really good people. Um, I'm not just saying that they're really good people and they have really good hearts. And I'm really glad that they're going into medicine because we need people like them. And I'm um again, I'm really thankful for you guys. Shout out to all of you guys during my um Telenovela week for being there for me.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

I I did want to follow up and ask w why exactly didn't they not accept your deferment? Like why didn't you why couldn't you defer the uh rotation?

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Um they changed policies and that's what I wanted to get into in a little bit was um, you know, I was really upset originally. Um I'm not gonna lie, I was I was a little upset with the school. A a little might be, you know, uh a good amount. I was a good amount upset with the school, okay? And they changed their policies and then I I didn't know about them. Um, I'm not sure how many people know about them. Um and so this is just like their new policy where before it was um you can't go into your rotation until you take the board, right? But now it's if you don't take your uh board exam on time, um, you will start rotation one, but you will come back too dedicated to um study for the board exam, and then you take the board and then you go back into your rotations. So it was just a new policy. And I've I cried it out like for the first honestly, it really was the first day that I found out that day where the I got stuck at the parking lot. It was literally that day. Um, and then after putting in my petition and then getting denied, I was actually surprisingly okay with it. Um, because I just felt like my mental health was declining my mental health was declining by you know, continuing to fight a battle. Um at this point, I just feel like I did all I could to do. I tried, I communicated, um and it just didn't work out. And so I I'm not gonna lie, I I reflected on on this situation a bit and I originally I wanted to blame the school, but I definitely have to take some accountability because I I I was thinking like I was so stressed out and I instead of my my situation was I was so stressed out that I was like okay, I'm not gonna think about it anymore. But what I should have done, or what I feel like I should have done, was turn that stress into productivity, right? Be like, okay, what what can be done? What are my options? I should have looked into the policies better to better prepare. I should have asked more questions, even though they could have t they could have told me to, but I I I should have asked too. I should have been like, what are my options? What happens if you know I don't get my ID? So I could have planned better and I could have you know used my time better to visit my family and things like that. Um so I'm trying to take this as a learning lesson where next time instead of just sitting there and hoping for the best, I am fully informed of you know what route I can take. And um it was a learning lesson because I'm like, this is not gonna ever happen to me again. Like I'm not gonna be in a position where like it's gonna be more difficult. I mean, this is this might be a little more difficult for me now, right? Because if you think about it, I'm gonna take time off and I have to come back into setting. And if you know, you do forget a lot. You do forget a lot. So this is not an ideal situation, right? But I'm gonna make the best of it. Um there were so many barriers for me to get into med school. I I was saying like I shouldn't even be in med school given the barriers. And I I made it happen. I'm gonna make it happen now. I'm still gonna take this board exam and I'm gonna figure it out. Um, but I've learned something here. And the the thing is I need to take my is it my destiny or my future into my own hands? Like I need to be next time, I just need to be more proactive about the situation. I think uh I was stressed and I instead of using the time to look at my options, I just sat back after, you know, I communicated with the school. But I don't know. What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_01 12:40

So, first, I'm glad you're able to see, like, okay, for the next time, how could I prepare better? Because as you were telling me the story, I was like, because I feel like I sometimes we as humans we focus too much on like, why me? Why me? Like, why did this happen to me? And it it's fair because you know, you're like, bro, I'm doing everything that I supposed to, and you know, and it's just not going my way. Like, why are you doing this to me to whoever you believe? God, Jesus, whoever you the higher power you believe. But then, um, also you gotta think about it like, okay, what okay, why is this happening to me? No, like for what? Like, what is the reason why this is happening to me? And I'm glad to see that you were able to because I feel like um when I was listening to your situation, I'm like, yeah, what could she done but like be what she could have done better? I'm like, I feel like she took all the right steps, right? Like that that was my my train of thought. But once you said, no, I could have been more proactive, I could have done this, I could have done that, and I'm like, oh, okay, now I see how to what you know, because I I did, you know, I didn't really um know the situation. But also now my question is my second question is okay, so now they don't approve your deferment. And then now I just want to see if I understood it correctly. Now you're gonna start clinical rotations for how long? Like a month, six months?

SPEAKER_04 14:04

I'll be in rotations for six weeks. Yeah, I'll be in rotations for six weeks, and after six weeks, I will go back into um uh a dedicated period.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Sorry, what exactly is dedicated period or dedicated? Because I know you mentioned dedicated before. I'm like, what is dedicated?

SPEAKER_04 14:21

Yeah, dedicated is where I don't do nothing but stay home and study independently. I I make my own schedule um and I study for the exam, I take practice tests and kind of see what where my you know score or knowledge is, and then I when I'm seeing that I'm testing where I will pass, I will sign up for the test.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

And then this okay, so you'll be six weeks. Okay, then that how long would that dedicated period be next time?

SPEAKER_04 14:56

That's a really good question because um our original dedicated, I believe, was eight weeks. And um, given that the rotations are by six weeks, I'm assuming it would be only six weeks because since all rotations are six weeks, I'm assuming they have to like keep them, you know, like uh does that make sense? Like so that I can hop into the next rotation at the beginning. So I'm assuming it'll be six weeks.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Oh, okay. And then so basically you're going to take hopefully, please God, make it work. Uh hopefully you're gonna take this test in like two months, four months.

SPEAKER_04 15:38

Yeah, so the I don't know how much I'm gonna forget. I don't know how much I'm gonna forget in six weeks. Um, so I don't know because I'm right now I'm I'm close to passing, or I'm I'm getting close to to, you know. So I don't know how much I'm gonna forget, but um I'm a chingona. And um Linda, that means I'm a badass. And um I'm going to make a schedule where I can still study in my rotation for the exam. So that I I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna make a schedule so I can keep somehow keep up with my rotations and keep up with studying for uh the board exam. Because just in case if I forget too much in that time frame, I can at least try to at least maintain what I know. You know what I mean? Um, so it's not as hard to uh get back to like that grind when I'm in dedicated. Um it'll be okay, guys. It's gonna be fine. We're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

So your story sounded similar to mine, but not so similar. There's some differences. Um, and I know for me, I spoke about this situation a few episodes back when I was studying for my boards exam. But for me, when I was studying for my boards boards exam, cut myself off from everybody outside of my room or outside of my house or outside of the coffee shop. If you wasn't studying, we weren't talking. Uh sorry again, I remember just studying, studying, and studying. I went in to take my exam. I pass, I, you know, because they asked you when you check in, you have to give them all your information. You you need um an ID, a credit card or something so they can like uh um confirm. So I gave the guy my ID and he looked at looked at my ID, looked at me, and said, your ID is expired. I did not realize that my ID had expired. My birthday had just passed. It was January 31st. I took my Borg's exam February 14th. I did not realize that my ID was expired until I was already at the testing site. That in itself just threw my whole mindset. Just, I I was, uh I did not know. I didn't know until he literally told me, your ID is expired and you cannot take the exam without with an expired ID. Fortunately, I did have a passport at home, and the guy was nice enough to say that we'll push back the time for to the time for you to take your exam and you can go home to grab your ID. I only lived about 20 minutes from the testing site. So literally, like I rushed back home to get my passport. Um, again, because my ID was expired. Um looking back, like I said a while ago, I wish I would have just rescheduled that exam because I ended up failing that I didn't pass that exam because I just felt like I just had a whole lot going on. You know, they I get there, they said I my ID was expired, so I was already on edge. Uh, but an advice that I want to give listeners is stuff always happens. You know, the day of your exam, your car can break down. Something always can happen. For me, in that situation, something that I learned is be more proactive. You know, check the boxes ahead of time. Don't wait the day of your exam. Don't wait uh two weeks before your exam. Start checking the boxes. If you know you schedule your exam for like a month out, make sure your ID is not expired, make sure you have it um your ID in Jasmine's situation. Even if she did that, hers got it, um got stolen. But my advice would to make sure you have a separate form of ID. So, like a passport, an ID, another ID, a driver's license, so you can prevent that from happening to you. Uh, because stuff, things be happening. Sometimes you just can't, you just you just gotta go with go with the flow. But it's it's always good to have a backup of something because you know when you get to the test site, you're required to have a form of ID. So just having one form of identification is no bueno. It's not good. Always have a second one because I have my passport and my ID. It was expired, but hey, always have like another form of um identification.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

No, yeah, I I agree with that because I also remember when I was taking my MCAT, they had I you so you need, like you said, right? You need a form of ID and then you also need something to verify that you live or something, right? So if a lot of you students don't know you need either like a piece of mail, right? Something like mail.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

I was able to bring a credit card because my credit card matched like my ID.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

Okay, yeah. So yeah, just look into like the I guess what is required to check in because you don't wanna, you know, study so hard for that test and then not be able to take it and then have to pay for the rescheduling fees because those are not cheap.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Those fees are definitely not cheap. And then you will most likely already be paying to reschedule your exam if you don't feel confident and ready for the exam, you have to pay like another $50 and another $50. And then so yeah. So make sure you have your stuff figured out way ahead of time. Don't wait to the last minute. Cause again, like Jasmine, her ID got it, you know, hers got stolen. Uh, but she's just she didn't have another form of ID. My ID was expired, but thank God I had another form of form of ID at home. But I couldn't imagine if I lived super far from the testing site, then I would not have been able to take it that day. So, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, take notes because I know you have not taken your exam yet. I know you're in the process of uh studying to take your exam, but just know things happen. Uh, but after this episode, I hope you're prepared to make sure you look at your ID, to make sure it's not expired, make sure you have another form of ID, something to prevent you from getting into the situation like Jasmine and I.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Kathy's over there, like, oh no, my ID's expired. She's going through it. No, she's

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Girl, when I'm telling you, I'm like, I want this to be over so I could go check my wallet because I'm scared now. I mean, I do have a passport, but uh yeah, no, I can't be stressed.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I can tell you're thinking about it.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Yeah, I'm like, Yeah, because I'm like, life be lifing.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

I don't know why life be lifing when we have like important tests. When is life like for me?

SPEAKER_00 22:27

It's to parry, it's I don't know, it's part of the journey, it's to prepare you for what's out there. Um, you know, obstacles are thrown your way. You just have to move accordingly and don't let that stop you. Uh, because it's it's a part of life. You know, some people have more obstacles than others, but God knows I had a few, a lot, a whole lot of life obstacles. I'm like, God, I get it. Slow down. I don't need any more life examples. I am done. I have had enough life examples for my whole 33 years of living. But then I also like to look at that is I, yes, some people say, like, why me, why me, why me? But then I hear someone else's story. I was like, well, your life's a little bit challenging, more difficult than mine. So let me be at peace of where I'm at now and take everything as a learning lesson and not take it personally. And it's some, it's sometimes it's hard, easier said than done. But again, it's just part of the journey. Um, it's not why you, why you, or why you. I agree.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

I I remember in the moment I was having my moment, you know, and I wanted to give my I want to give myself grace because I think the emotions I was feeling was r were uh valid, you know, given that we put our all into studying for these board exams. But I also wanted to take, I'm really happy I had yesterday. I think yesterday I got a lot of clarity, but yesterday I was like, you know what? What can we learn from the situation so that we are never in the situation again? And I it it it brought me peace, you guys. It brought me peace. And I'm happy I had yesterday to kind of relax. I gave I I didn't study, I watched a movie and I was thinking and reading a book, but then the reading a book didn't the the reading didn't last long, it was like a page. So, Kathy, how are you doing? How's it going?

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Hold that thought and stay tuned for next week's episode.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Thanks for listening to this episode of PD3 with your host Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy. Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe at a put in dose of three so that you never miss an episode and your weekly dose.