Ep.173:Starting Rotations: Excited, Nervous & Ready (Part 3)

In this episode, Jaz shares how her clinical rotations are going, what she expects from her first rotation, and how she plans to balance life and clinical rotations at the same time. She opens up about the challenges, excitement, and lessons she's learning as she begins this new chapter in her healthcare journey.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:04

You're now listening to a Putin Dose of Three with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy, and we're here to bring you your weekly dose.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Welcome back. This is a continuation of last week's episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Um, for example, like I I've been an AMT and I've handled patients uh with some degree of psychosis, um, but there's different degrees of psychosis. And so um I may be like, yeah, no, I know I can handle that, but in reality, everyone's so different and they react so so differently. And so just kind of learning how to interact with different patients. Um, I totally forgot your second question.

SPEAKER_04 1:02

You said what what are you excited about? Uh, now that you're a week in, uh, was it like what you expected? Was it better? Uh um I'm gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

I didn't put any expectations on like what I was gonna say. Um, I try not to put expectations. I don't know if that's like a trauma response that I had. Um because I feel like when I try not to put too many expectations, um, it doesn't get me to overthink, right? And so like be like, oh, I wish I would have seen this, or I wanted to see this, or I wish I would have done this. So that's kind of the I try not to have expectations. Um, but I wasn't expecting to like the psych 80 as much as I do, you know. Um, the work hours seem very doable, and we all know um that mental health is really important, and so I feel like having a good work-life balance, you know, will allow me to thrive in my career, and that's what I'm looking for, is something that is gonna keep me in a good state and not like force me to keep because like I'm very hard on myself. I always want to do the best that I can, and I don't want to be in an environment where it's super, super what's the word? Like there's no there's there's no balance, and I really enjoy the psychedy because I'm seeing that a lot, like I'm I'm even looking at like the residents. I'm like wow, like they look happy, you know, they look happy, they don't look like damn, I'm here, like I have to be here. No, like they look happy, and I I feel like psych might be something to consider for me. So um, yeah. Um, I actually Kathy, I lied. Uh one of the things I just remembered right now was I remember being like, huh, I wonder if I'm gonna like psych. I wonder if I'm gonna like psych. Because I remember uh being like, I think I like psych. And I was like, what if I don't like psych? What if I don't like psych? What if I don't? What am I gonna like? What what what kind of doctor am I gonna be? That was the one thing actually that I did did have. But then I remember being like, it's okay, we'll figure it out later.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

I know it's kind of too soon to actually maybe know this answer because you're only a week in. But what challenges do you think you may face, or like a struggle that like adjusting wise, like what challenging challenges that you see yourself that possibly could be in the near fit future, or a challenge that you're having right now and while starting like your clinical rotations, being in your clinical rotations?

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Um actually, oh, I know you mentioned clinical rotations. Um, I would say the biggest challenge is maybe not progressing as fast as I want to. Um, and the reason why I say that is because I'm like, okay, if if if psych is a a field that I'm interested in, like I should be really good at it, right? That's like that's like how people think, right? And so I think I'm scared that I'll get into that habit of thinking, like, oh, I'm not good at this, I don't belong here. Um, but truth is, and I'm I hope to lead with this, is that um I don't necessarily want to be in a field where I'm really good at it. I want to be in a field where I'm constantly looking like to grow and to learn. Um like I don't I don't think that you should be in something if you're good at it. I think you should be in something if you if you enjoy it and you love it. And so for me, um I don't expect to be good at it, you know. I expect to always kind of struggle a little bit with it because I want to keep like developing it continuously. So I don't know if that makes sense, but it makes sense in my mind.

SPEAKER_05 5:14

Yeah, it makes sense, but I feel like the field healthcare in general, things are always changing. There's always gonna be something new for you to learn. Literally, things change, could be day by day, month by month. There's always some policy changes, some type of new drug, some you would never get bored working in healthcare as like a doctor, working as a nurse practitioner, working with patients because again, everything changed. So you don't, it changes, so you're gonna be challenged having to learn something new, I feel like, regardless of wherever specialty you you choose.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Actually, I also want to talk about um, you know, there was I mentioned earlier that there was also a fourth-year medical student rounding for us, rounding with us the first week. I had asked her some questions about, you know, uh, because she was considering psych. I'm like, oh, like what made you consider psych and all that, or why would you not consider psych? Because she was um oscillating back and forth between psych and I am, similar similar to me. And she was mentioning that um a reason why she was hesitant about going into psych was because um sometimes it could be really heavy. Like sometimes the stuff you see or deal with could be really heavy. And um, she was mentioning that like when she, you know, we all have our days where we're not feeling the best, but when she was like having her off days, um having to come into this environment where it's heavy or it's difficult, uh, was was like too much for her. Um that is also maybe like a fear I have, you know, but I'm hoping that I'm able to, I guess, learn to be aware of, you know, myself and my emotions um so that I'm able to kind of take the necessary steps that I need to to make sure that I'm always um okay or that my mental health is okay. Um as I'm, you know, whether it's uh whether I choose this as a career. That's understandable.

SPEAKER_05 7:20

Um because yeah, that's understandable because even for me, because I I have I've gotten the comments too, like from like friends or just people like, oh, you should have been a therapist as well. And I'm like, I can only imagine how I will feel as a therapist listening to someone's story and not letting that like affect me because even working as like a nurse practitioner, just that alone, like seeing patients for um like preventable, like you know, like diabetes, something that's not mental health related, mental health aspects all aspects always come up within our our um our visit. So I'm like, I can only imagine how it would be, you know, being a therapist is only focusing on that mental health um aspect when as a primary care provider, I'm already dealing with a portion of mental health, and I'm like that sometimes weighs heavy heavily on me. So I'm like, I only can imagine. I can't do therapy because I I don't want to only, you know, focus on that one thing, but again, you know what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And then because you're also in the beginning stages of your rotations, I feel that that's when you learn what actually works for you because like I didn't understand these things until like I was actually working, seeing multiple patients. I'm like, okay, now that I have a better understanding of like certain things that I notice like affects me and other things that don't affect me, and also time um is also plays a big part of it as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Yeah, I did want to talk about um some of the challenges maybe that I'm currently dealing with. Um, so as I mentioned earlier, I have pretty much been out of school. Um, I've been in like my um step studying right era. And so now I am a third-year medical student and it's different. We're like not going to class every day versus before we would go to class, like there was like a schedule, like you had lectures, you knew what lectures you were doing, uh, you had quizzes, you had exams, so you knew what you were focusing on, but now I'm a full-time clinical student, pretty much, right? Rotations is pretty much your end clinicals full-time Monday through Friday. Um, and so for me, I have just transitioned this my first rotation. And so this is something I was talking to, talking with my classmates about is that I'm struggling a little bit with the fact that I am no longer a student, like an actual, like I'm a now a clinical student and a student. So I'm trying to figure out like what the balance, what the proper balance is of um upkeeping the material I've learned so far, and then continuing to learn it um to a deeper understanding, on top of, you know, building my clinical skills or enhancing my clinical skills or just learning, you know, how it is to, you know, be a provider. Cause like now I'm actually like learning, like, you know, I'm training under attendings and residents, and they're teaching me like how to be a provider. And so just trying to find that balance has been um a little bit of a a little bit of a I guess, you know, a little bit of a struggle. Um, so I'm kind that's kind of where I'm at right now. It's just trying to figure out how much devote to how much to devote to uh my Anki and how much to devote to um uh uh watching clinical skills videos or like mental status examinations or things like that.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

So I have a question because I know for us, we when we were in clinicals, we still were responsible with like OSCIS. Do you guys still have exams at least or OSCE's or like clinical exams or or not?

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Yeah, so I believe um we will be having OSCE's after every rotation. So um after every six weeks, we'll have intercession, and in that intercession, we do OSCIS and stuff like that. Yeah, so yeah, a lot of ASCII's. Woo! I hate OSCIS.

SPEAKER_05 11:45

Um that gives me flashbacks as well.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

I just hate the idea of being watched and judged, saying having to like hit every point while being watched and graded, your time, like you're limited in time.

SPEAKER_05 12:01

I I hated OSCIS. Thinking about it, my heart. My heart. Yeah, I'm so happy I'm done with school. I am never going back. Absolutely not. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Yeah, yeah. So we have OSCIS every like pretty much every seven weeks at this point.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Yay. Um, but circling back to um, you know, trying to balance um all of like being a student, upkeeping the material, um, clinical experiences and all that. I've just been trying to get um feedback from peers who because this is my first rotation, but some of my peers, this is their second rotation, right? Because of everything that happened with my step exam. I had to delete my exam. So I've just kind of been trying to get um advice from them and how to study um and how to keep, I guess, a good balance of everything. And um also trying to tell myself, girl, it's your first week, don't freak out, you'll be fine. But I do feel that psycho is a really good first um psycho is a really good first rotation because it's not as uh heavy. And so it's allowing me to one um give myself grace with kind of like I guess, you know, figuring it out. Um and yeah, but I'm also trying to tell myself to stop overthinking and just be in the moment and enjoy like the days because I'm learning, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:40

Honestly, I just love this for you. Uh, you've been, I feel like you've had this mindset since you started med school, and I don't know what shift it was, I don't know if it was the medication, I don't know if it was like growth and maturity, a mixture of everything. But I said it before when Jasmine, she just used to get on my dang nerves growing up because you know, she didn't want to do anything by herself, she wanted me to speak for her. But literally, since she started um medical school, if she has had like this positive mindset, it's like I'll take it as it comes, I'm not gonna stress over it over it. It is what it is. Not to like say med school is not stressful, it doesn't take a lot from you, but you've been handling it very, very well. Like, give yourself a pat on the back because I know medical school is not not not not easy, not straightforward. It it has a mental toll on like a lot of people. So share those drugs with me, girl.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Girl, girl, on top of life. Oh no, yeah, I agree. I do feel like my mindset has changed. I I do want to contribute a lot of this to, I think a lot of it to to be honest, like getting on my anxiety meds has really been helpful. And even like getting on my ADHD meds because I feel like I've a lot more emotionally regulated. Yes, you guys, I still cry. I cried yesterday. I had it like I cried a lot. I've valid reasoning too. Valid reasoning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but but I feel like my responses to situations are a lot more level headed. Um, and uh for for listeners out there, it's okay to not be okay, right? It's okay to cry. It's okay, but it but also like you know, what can I like ask yourself like what can I do now? Like, how can I fix this? How do I move on? Don't like I try not to sit in, oh my gosh, my life is crumbling. Like, yes, my life might be crumbling, but what can I do? Like, how can I move forward? And that's kind of how I try to take it. It's not perfect, I'm not perfect, but you live and you learn every day, guys.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

And honestly, honestly, that's all you can do. Live and learn, cry, cry, scream, and then pick yourself back up. It's like, okay, so what are we gonna do about it? What's the next steps? Um, but yeah, I just love this new chapter in your life for you uh as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Yeah, no, thank you. Um, it's fun for anyone out there considering med school and having these imposter impostor syndrome. Um, I I would probably recommend that if it's something you really want, um, focus on, you know, rewiring your thoughts to can I, can I, am I good enough? Um, because those are just barriers to you actually trying even trying to do what you want to do. Um, it's taken a long time for me to get to this place. I definitely was not always like this, as Linda says. Um it took therapy, it took, you know, figuring out who I am and what my needs were. My needs were handling my anxiety, um, getting diagnosed with ADHD and figure fixing me first before I was able to really fully actually like grow. So yeah. Um, thank you so much for listening, you guys. If nope, not yet.

SPEAKER_05 17:19

And also, I also just want to like add on just quickly, quickly, what Jasmine was saying, because you know, I was just saying how just I can see how much has changed in her since she started like the medication that helps with her anxiety, um, and then ADHD. And I know there's a stigma. There's a stigma in our community, especially black and brown communities, like getting on any type of medications, it's like taboo, like you don't need it. Um, like don't do it. Because I recently had a conversation with like with one of my friends who, you know, was against, you know, she said like she would never get on like antidepressants. And then she started to think about to think about getting on uh medication. And I'm not telling you you have to get on medication, but I'm I'm also saying like to if that's something that you may need to like maybe talk to your provider and like consider it, like don't listen to like what the outside people are saying because this is something like you have like you're dealing with, like you're living with. Um, unfortunately, um, you know, a lot of the times um we the black and brown community were getting diagnosed with like ADHD later on in life in our adulthood, because you know, when you're a child, it's like, oh, they'll grow out of it. Um, it's just something that they're dealing with now. And again, maybe they will go grow out, grow out of it. And on the other hand, in Jasmine's um case, it's like it's something that she didn't grow out of, it was something like she was struggling with throughout her whole life, and then when she became an adult, she decided, like, um, so something's going on. Let me actually talk to my doctor and and see what's actually going on and how can I be helped. And her whole life changed.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

So yeah, definitely consider your options. I agree. I agree. Um, I had all these problems, but I a lot of my anxiety probably was being um fueled by like my underlying, you know, medical conditions and all that. But yeah, no, I agree, Linda. And that, Linda, is another reason why I really am interested in um psychiatry because I feel like you said, um psychiatric illnesses, you know, they're seen as taboo. Uh medications for psychiatric illnesses are seen as taboo, uh therapies, black and brown communities. Yes, yeah, exactly. Which is which is a major management in in psychiatry. That's a major uh management to in psychiatry. Yep, yep. Um, so that is one of the reasons why I am drawn to um psychiatry, is because I am a person of color and I would love to, you know, have um I would love to work in this field because I would want people in our community to know that there's people just like them who are in the field. I know it makes it a lot more comfortable when you have someone that looks like you who, you know, talks about these conditions or this this field that is completely taboo that you learned growing up that was taboo for you. Um, you know, just my first week, I was um, you know, I had that patient where I was um interviewing them and I was able to use uh their language of origin, right? I was able to s to speak Spanish and and provide the care to them in Spanish without using a uh um an interpreter. And of course we love having interpreters because it allows us to, you know, um tover bridge the care that they need with the, you know, but it also helps when the provider is able to speak their language and so not only speak their language, but who may share similar culture, you know, and help kind of disseminate some of the previous thoughts they might have had about this field, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 21:20

It makes a whole lot of sense. Um, and to add on and emphasize the need for more people that look like us in these fields um is very important. And I feel I feel like we're slowly getting there, slowly but surely. Um and I just have like a short little story. Um, so my sister, she recently started, um, she did like a clinical rotation um at I think it was like a nursing home, and you know, all the providers there, they only spoke English. And she said there was like this one Spanish-speaking patient who was like obviously in like some type of distress. And my sister was saying like how she felt so bad that no one was able to communicate with her. Um, she was like, I can't even imagine how that feels. It's like, yes, I would be upset here if I literally can't speak to anyone in here. And I know organizations, clinics, hospitals, like they preach of like, oh, you can you should use the interpreter line, interpreter service. There's a lot that's going on in these facilities and these clinics where a lot of the time, like the nurses, the doctors, they're they're on the go. They're not using the interpreter services, even though they should be, but they're trying to see multiple patients. And a lot of the times, also these facilities, they're not hiring interpreters like in clinics because it is it does cost a lot of money, but yeah, it is sad. So all the Spanish people uh speaking people and whatever language, different languages, it is good to just have more diversity. Um, yeah, in these settings. Yeah, but you can close it out now if you want to.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Yeah, I forgot what I was saying. No, thank you guys so much for listening. I literally don't know what to say.

SPEAKER_05 23:09

I think you're actually done. I was just stopped you for a second and I don't know, said something and then yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

I know, I just don't know how to close it out because I always want to close it out with something possible. With some advice, some saying or some some some some little that was a little little saying.

SPEAKER_05 23:27

You talk about war, you know, Spanish speaking um yeah, providers and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

You did a great job. Thank you, thank you. I try, I try. Thank you guys so much for listening. Tune in next week to hear the rest of our life stories.

SPEAKER_05 23:42

It'll get better.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Hopefully. Bye. It will. Bye. It is. Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of PB3 with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy. Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe at a put in dose of three so that you never miss an episode and your weekly dose.